There’s this new phenomenon called the “that girl aesthetic”. What is “that girl”, you may ask? I’ll tell you:
“That Girl” wakes up at 5:30a.m. She writes in her gratitude journal, drinks green juice, and works out at the same time every day. Her room/apartment is decorated in neutrals: whites, beiges, creams, ivories. Her closet is filled with fast fashion dupes of luxury athleisure (all in neutrals). She wears claw clips, gold hoops, and a slick-backed low bun with white sneakers and trendy sunglasses. She puts herself first and puts her health before anything. She’s organized, replies to e-mails on time, and runs errands instead of putting them off.
She’s “that girl”.
And I find “that girl” fucking exhausting.
Look, I totally think that everyone should be themselves without fear or judgement of others (unless who you are is racist/problematic/etc.). And, I’ll admit, at first I really loved watching the “That Girl” videos. I loved these quick cut vlogs of life from women with whom I had nothing in common.
I couldn’t be “that girl” if I tried. I love routine but I also love spontaneity. I love organization but I also embrace chaos. I am, without a doubt, the opposite of “that girl” and that’s where the problem lies. I found myself comparing. I found I was beating up on myself for not being capable of having this aesthetic, healthy lifestyle. Even if I wanted to make a cute little aesthetic TikTok it wouldn’t be right — I don’t live in a cream-colored world. My world has texture and color and bursts of bad lighting. It’s the antithesis of everything “that girl” stands for.
But just now, as I was cooking my chaotic, weird dinner and pouring my silly little glass of wine, I realized something: “that girl” is never the main character.
Oh, sure, everyone is the main character of their own life, blah, blah, blah but in movies… “that girl” is never the person whose journey we follow. “That Girl” is always the best friend or the boss OR “that girl” is the main character and her journey is about learning to let go — to embrace spontaneity and chaos and color.
There’s a difference between romanticizing your life and being “that girl”. Prescribing joy to small things and small routines is nice. Good, even! It provides joy where there otherwise might not have been any. But forcing yourself to fit into a box of “that girl”-ness when it’s not natural or your first inclination? When wearing neutrals and drinking green juice are as much of a chore as anything else?
That’s not romantic. That’s not aspirational. It’s self-destructive.
Anyway… I think the point of this newsletter is this: if you’re not someone who fits neatly into a box filled with claw clips and white sneakers and morning yoga — that’s okay! It’s okay to not be “that girl” because “that girl”, often, gets so caught up in being “that girl” she forgets to live — forgets to embrace the small, unexpected joys of life.
I’m so tired of trying to fit myself into boxes; of trying to become “that girl”. When who I am works, too. Who I am is just as capable, just as interesting… maybe more interesting, honestly.
And this whole newsletter started because I wanted to be the main character of my own life and being the main character does not come about by trying to be like anyone else. I just have to be myself. Not “that girl”… just me.
xo
Jenn
UPDATES: I find myself missing this newsletter on the off weeks so, if you’re fine with it, I might start sending out shorter newsletters on the in-between weeks. Newsletters with links to good playlists or fun tv show recommendations or, really, any sort of fun, lighter fare I think you might enjoy.
Something I’m playing with and thinking about…
Until then…